


hey moon (please forget to fall down)

by fourteentimes



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Domestic Fluff, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Dates, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Platonic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourteentimes/pseuds/fourteentimes
Summary: “And then there’s this orange asshole.”“I still don’t think it makes that much sense that you took a picture of him if you didn’t like him so much. Tell him he's being ridiculous, Ritsu-chan~"“I think he’s kind of cute though. Like kind of pocket-sized, y’know? I wanna eat him up. What’d you say his name was?”"Leo."(or, Leo and Izumi are soulmates who meet as adults, and 7 looks into how their lives intersect.)For IzuLeo Week 2020.
Relationships: Mikejima Madara & Tsukinaga Leo, Narukami Arashi & Sena Izumi, Sakuma Ritsu & Sena Izumi, Sena Izumi/Tsukinaga Leo, Tenshouin Eichi & Tsukinaga Leo
Comments: 18
Kudos: 62





	1. judgement (rebirth)

**Author's Note:**

> s-so i'm going a little bit uhhh freeform with my prompts sweats don't comment on it ok--
> 
> also nothing is chronological and the points don't matter!!!!! but if you do prefer to read chronologically, something like 1 > 2 > 5 > 4 > 7 > 6 > 3 will probably make the most sense.
> 
> title is from "northern downpour" by panic! at the disco

“And then there’s this orange asshole.” Izumi raises his arms obediently for Ritsu to throw himself into his lap. He’s heavy. Too heavy. Clearly, Izumi needs to stop letting Arashi cook so much or they’re never going to get him to lose weight. “This one, right here, see?” 

“I still don’t think it makes that much sense that you took a picture of him if you didn’t like him so much,” Arashi calls from the kitchen as she fusses with the kettle. “Tell him he’s being ridiculous, Ritsu-chan~” 

“Mm…” Ritsu turns over in his lap, and it’s only habit and too much time spent in each others’ personal spaces that Izumi doesn’t get jabbed by his bony elbows. He doesn’t even react when Izumi swats at his hair for stealing his phone. “I think he’s kind of cute though. Like kind of pocket-sized, y’know? I wanna eat him up. What’d you say his name was?” 

“Leo.” Izumi doesn’t spit his name out, but it’s something close. Just thinking about him, the way he absentmindedly stumbled into their shoot and just  _ hung around _ like he was just  _ allowed _ to be there, and then had the audacity to make comments on top of that? 

He was lucky Izumi didn’t strangle him right there. 

“And don’t eat people, what have I told you?” Izumi says without much heat, flicking at Ritsu as he takes his phone back. “You’ll give yourself indigestion, and then you’re going to make us deal with all your moaning and groaning.”

“You love taking care of me, Se~cchan.” Izumi lets Ritsu luxuriate in his lap with an indulgent stretch and sleepy yawn, and he thinks that it’s a very, very kind thing that he doesn’t just shove him off when he nearly knocks Izumi in the face. 

“He’s really nice actually, you’d like him a lot!” Arashi’s tone is too bright when she sets the tray with their mugs down in front of them, but Izumi doesn’t even have the time to prepare himself for being way too warm when she’s already crushing herself to his side. 

Why does he even live here with these two? 

(Because the rent is good, the location is better, and Ritsu and Arashi haven’t steered him wrong yet, but they’re not allowed to know that.) 

Which is why it’s even more  _ frustrating _ that Arashi clearly can’t see how much of a mess Leo is. Even when he started writing on all of the napkins on set. 

“He was way too familiar with you,” Izumi grouses. Ritsu passes him his cup, but it’s more so Izumi doesn’t dump him off his lap than it is anything else. 

“He’s Mama’s favorite soulmate; of course we’ve met before,” Arashi says, blowing over her tea before taking a prim sip. 

“Isn’t that guy engaged?” Izumi takes a cautious sip, but of course, Arashi’s made his cup perfectly. “I don’t trust anyone who has a ‘favorite’ soulmate. Dump him.” 

“You’re right, I’m gonna dump you if we’re not your favorites.” Ritsu’s puppy dog eyes would be a lot more effective if he weren’t half off the couch and also didn’t try them on Izumi every chance he got. 

“Shut up, we’re not talking about me,” Izumi says. It doesn’t stop Ritsu’s smug grin, though. 

“They’ve been best friends forever or something like that.” Arashi shrugs. Izumi drinks his tea some more, but only because if he doesn’t, he’ll say something he’ll regret. Like admitting Ritsu and Arashi  _ are _ his favorites. 

Embarrassing. He’d die. They’d never let him live it down, and then he’d have to move places to get away from them, and they’d still find a way to come after him to cuddle him like this on his couch.

“Besides, just ask them when they come over for dinner!” 

Even Ritsu sits up at that. 

Izumi stares down at her, still tucked under his arm like nothing’s wrong. “You didn’t.”

“It’s like a big family reunion!” Arashi looks far, far too pleased with this announcement. The headache building is going to be blinding when he remembers to stop being surprised and start being mad. “Except it’s my family and Mama’s family meeting for the first time! And I’m sure you won’t be rude to Leo again when he’s at the table, right?” 

“If he doesn’t draw all over our table first.” 

“Ugh, that means Secchan is gonna make us clean the entire apartment though.” 

“Just...when are they coming?” So Izumi can figure out a plan for protecting their furniture. And then a plan for not strangling Leo on sight. And then a plan after that for not strangling him when he starts spouting weird bullshit. And also a plan for dinner because there’s no way he’s leaving the food to Ritsu. 

“Well…” Arashi gets up off the couch and moves to the other seat, and Izumi braces himself for awful news. “Tomorrow?” 

Just kidding. It’s gonna be a long fucking night for him, apparently. 

\---

There’s a reason they never take meals at the dining table. Their couch is ridiculously comfortable, plush in just the right way, with the coffee table pulled close enough to not be a pain in the ass to eat off of, when they really have to eat together. Or they can just eat in their own bedrooms because they’re not slobs. 

And also because the dining table is a cramped, tiny thing that Ritsu had brought from his old studio apartment that they used as a place to pile  _ things _ onto and not actually eat off of. It doesn’t fit three of them around it on a good day. 

It sure as hell doesn’t fit six of them and all their elbows.

“Leo-san, please  _ stop  _ reaching over my food,” Tsukasa says evenly and patiently, as though talking to a three year old. A three year old who doesn’t listen ever and still decides to do as he pleases just  _ because _ . Because impulse control apparently isn’t a thing for some people. 

Izumi feels that. He truly does. 

“But it’s not even that far and it seems like a big hassle to make you pass it to me!” Leo is so loud, Izumi’s ears ring every time he says  _ anything _ . Their apartment isn’t small by any means, but Leo makes it feel small with his voice, his laugh, his very presence. 

Honestly, he can see why Leo and Madara get along so well. He sort of hates it that little bit more, though. 

“Our apartment never gets to be this lively,” Arashi whispers to him as she pours him another glass of wine. “Don’t look so sour about it. Enjoy it while it lasts.” 

“That’s because we’re sensible people.” Izumi is going through their wine too aggressively for the very nice vintage that Madara brought over. Just another reason why this is all terrible. 

“Secchan wouldn’t let me touch the dessert at all.” And there goes Leo, getting wrapped up by Ritsu’s puppy dog eyes, nodding along as though he has any clue what they would be getting into if Ritsu cooked. “I just had to  _ clean _ all day, can you believe how mean he is?” 

“Wahaha, Sena is super strict at home too, huh?” Leo says his name so fondly, looks at Izumi with  _ tenderness _ that--

That Izumi almost doesn’t know what to do with himself. Is he blushing? His face feels hot. But there’s more people crowded around the table in each others’ faces than their living room ever gets. 

Why does Leo get to say one thing so offhandedly, and Izumi’s heart feels like it’s beating too loudly? When it’s not even a compliment, and they’ve already moved onto talking about other things, not Izumi things, and he’s still here, mooning over the way Leo says his fucking  _ name _ ?

How patently unfair. 

\---

“You’re banned from hosting people at our place ever again,” Izumi says into the couch after Madara’s wayward home for redheads finally leaves their place. The time is far too late, way past his bedtime, and he’s going to get puffy eyes tomorrow, and it’ll all be Arashi’s fault. 

“You know you had a good time, Izumi-chan!” Arashi says as she clears the table around Ritsu, similarly prostrated on the table because he’s sensible like Izumi. “Leo-chan made you smile. Don’t think I missed it.” 

“He did  _ not _ .” 

“Secchan was blushing too, I should’ve gotten a picture of it,” Ritsu mumbles sleepily and unhelpfully, and if Izumi weren’t exhausted and enjoying the couch so much, he’d pick on him for it. “It was su~per cute.” 

“Right?” Shit. Arashi is in  _ gushing _ mode, rushing over to Ritsu and plopping in front of him, and Izumi can’t see her face, but he can practically hear the sparkles in her expression. “Right, wasn’t it just the cutest? I’ve never seen him make a face like that before!” 

“Because it doesn’t exist!” Izumi says loudly. 

“Because Secchan is so tsun all the damn time,” Ritsu says more loudly. 

“I hate both of you. Kindly die.” 

Arashi laughs, cheerful and light and affectionate as she swans over to where he’s artfully draped on the couch to drop a kiss onto the side of his head. “If we did that, you would get too lonely and come find us in a day.”

“Shut up, no I wouldn’t,” Izumi says. Even as he leans up to kiss her on the cheek all the same. Even when Arashi hauls him up to his feet so he can catch Ritsu and give him a sleepy kiss when he teeters over too. “You’re both so~o annoying. The worst.” 

“We love you too, Secchan~” 


	2. canary soiree (wings)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch the (very brief) cameo!!!

“You’re a really pretty model, by the way?” 

Izumi knows it’s supposed to be a compliment, and Leo certainly looks...earnest. It’s not exactly the most creative thing anyone’s ever told him, though, and he can’t help wrinkling his nose just a little. Of  _ course _ he’s a pretty model. That’s why he still has a job, after all. 

“Thanks, but you sound more sincere when you don’t phrase it as a question,” Izumi says. Lesser (and smarter) men would be cowed by his sharp tongue and either swallow their tongue or apologize immediately, but Leo just laughs it off, leaning back in his chair like it’s no big deal. 

If it’s no big deal to him, why is Izumi even here? 

“You’re really honest! It’s funny, I like that a lot.” Leo leans in, chin balanced in his hand as he talks about Izumi as though he were talking about the weather. Is he bored? Is that it? Is Izumi  _ boring _ him? 

“You caught me. My night job is being a comedian,” Izumi deadpans. Leo nods along. 

There’s no way he actually believes that, right? 

Right?

“Wait, wait, wait, don’t say anything! That’s amazing, that’s perfect, I’m going to use that, hold on!” Except Leo doesn’t even give him the chance to explain himself. He talks in a rush, manic and all in one breath as he pulls out a pen from Izumi doesn’t even know where and starts scribbling furiously without even letting him get a word in. 

He just,  _ just _ barely resists the urge to roll his eyes at Leo, who hums obliviously while he doodles alarmingly quickly on his napkin. This is why he told Arashi this was a bad idea. He  _ knew _ this was going to be awful. At least the coffee is good. 

Leo is always in motion. His hands move, or his thoughts move, and Izumi can’t catch up with him at all, and that’s infuriating, feeling like he’s being left behind on nothing more than a whim. Being dragged along at someone else’s pace is fine. It’s not fine when he can’t figure out how fast or slow they’re going, when the next thing will come up, where they’re going after. It’s exhausting. Being with Leo is exhausting. He’s this close to chugging the rest of his coffee and calling it when Leo finally looks up at him. 

The scrutiny from him is jarring, but not entirely unwelcome. Maybe if he looked this serious more often, Izumi wouldn’t mind seeing him again. It’s no worse than being photographed, being presented in front of a camera, but maybe because it’s Leo, because Izumi can see the green of his eyes and how red his mouth is from biting it while he writes, it feels personal. (Intimate?)

“Let’s go somewhere else.” Leo stands, stuffing the napkin into his pocket without so much as a care and grabbing at Izumi’s hand, tugging him insistently to his feet. 

“We just sat down?!” Izumi has enough time to grab his coffee before Leo marches them away from the cafe. (Of course, with no attention paid to the other people staring at them, but what else is new?) “Why are you just dragging me off somewhere?!” 

“You looked unhappy!” 

“What?”

Leo turns around, but all Izumi is really aware of is the warmth of his hand and the feeling of their fingers intertwined. “You didn’t seem happy? And I wanted more inspiration! So.” 

“So. We’re just.” Izumi thinks it’s quite mature and reasonable of him that he takes a sip of his coffee instead of dumping it over Leo’s head. “Going somewhere else.” 

“Yeah?” Leo takes a more sedate pace this time, at least. “There’s this guy who I work with sometimes, and I know his…” his brow furrows, and it’s  _ cute _ to watch him think sometimes when he gets frustrated, “partner? I guess that’s what they are! They’ve got a thing going on. I don’t think they know what to call it either though! I like to think of them as partners though, sin--”

“Focus, Leo-kun.” 

“What was I talking about again?”

“Where are we going right now?” 

“We’re going somewhere?” 

Dumping the coffee over his head is looking like a stronger and stronger option now. 

“Wait!” Leo yells as he pulls the napkin out of his pocket, only to shove it way too far into Izumi’s personal space. “Wait, I wrote it down here! This.” 

“These are butterfly drawings.” He’s going to strangle Arashi for telling him to “just give Leo a chance because you never know!”

Izumi knows now. He knows, and he regrets. 

“The butterfly garden!” Leo gestures off...somewhere in the distance. “I know the guy who works there! He said I can go visit the butterflies, so I remembered, and now let’s go already!” 

“What makes you think I like butterflies, huh?” There’s no heat behind his words, now that they’re finally walking like normal people at what feels like a normal pace, going somewhere (surprisingly) normal. 

“They remind me of you,” Leo says with a shrug. Like that simple phrase doesn’t make Izumi’s heart pound a little fast. “Like I want to keep looking at them to learn about them, but they’re kind of not what I expected when I first learned about them! Did you know they come from caterpillars? And like, some caterpillars are super ugly?” 

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

“I thought I just called you pretty?!” 

\---

Izumi tosses his empty coffee cup in the trash can outside the butterfly pavilion, somehow miraculously empty from actually drinking it instead of being poured over Leo’s head. 

They didn’t let go of each other once on their way over. 

Does Leo just not notice? Is that it? He clearly doesn’t seem to have everything else all together, hopping from topic to topic like lightning striking hard and swift: a few stray thoughts and onto the next. Talking to him is actually just waiting until he takes a breath to finally get a word in edgewise to respond to something he mentioned five minutes and three topics ago. 

“Sena, we’re all good here!” Leo’s voice carries, and Izumi thinks that in another life, maybe he was a singer. Maybe he  _ is  _ a singer, but he’s pretty sure Arashi would’ve mentioned it by now if he were. She’s always been more plugged into that kind of thing than him. “Thanks again, Shu’s kid!” 

“You could at least remember his name,” Izumi says, waving to the person manning the ticket booth who doesn’t look like a kid in the slightest. He’s pretty, in a kind of spooky, gothic kind of way with his mismatched eyes, but his smile is cute. “Since he’s doing us a favor.” 

“I think he actually likes it better when I call him Shu’s kid?” Leo shrugs as he pushes open the heavy door into the butterfly sanctuary. “It’s one of their things. He’s pretty into it, actually, so I just stick with it!” 

The room they step into is sticky-warm and soupy, especially compared to the light spring day outside. Izumi’s shirt immediately starts sticking to his back in an unpleasant way, and Leo still doesn’t let go of his hand, even when it starts slicking with sweat. Greenery overflows, climbing even up to the ceiling, pushing against the windows. Everywhere he looks, there’s a pop of color. If not from a butterfly flitting about and flashing its brilliantly colored wings, then from the flowers that bloom across the entire room. 

Maybe he’ll suffer the humidity for this. (After all, Leo probably won’t even notice the way the humidity makes his hair frizz.) 

“They’re not super busy all the time, so sometimes Mika lets me come in here and just write!” Leo tugs them over to a bench further into the garden, and maybe, actually, he sounds...nervous? Izumi isn’t hearing that right, though. Leo doesn’t seem like the type. “This one here. It’s my inspiration~☆”

Leo gets to plop down without a care, but Izumi has to wave a hand at the last butterfly that stubbornly refuses to move from the seat. “You were inspired by a bench.” 

“Well!” Leo kicks his legs out like a child, heels scraping along the floor as he tilts his head side to side. To some kind of music or to watch the butterflies flying around, Izumi doesn’t know. “Well, I tried one time. Suo~ told me it wasn’t that good of a piece, even though Mikejimama said it was good!” 

“So what do you usually write here then?” Izumi asks. When he turns Leo’s hand over, he can see the freckles lightly dotting his skin. 

“Something fun! Something flowy. Something wild,” Leo says with a sharp grin. “You’d like it, maybe! Or not, but you should try it! Maybe it’ll get you to loosen up a bit more!” 

“We’re supposed to be on a date.” 

“I’m just saying you should have more fun! You’re too serious! You’re like this guy Eichi’s friends with. Super serious, no-fun all the time! Smile, smile!” Thank God there’s no one else in here with them right now. If Leo was loud outside, his voice carries in here. “Wait, wait! Wait, actually, I’ve got it! I’ll write you a song that will make you smile!” 

Izumi scowls, but even he has a hard time fighting off the warm feelings filling his chest at Leo’s easy proclamation. “Why would you do that?.” 

“So I get to see your beautiful smile!” Leo’s grin could light up the sun, and Izumi doesn’t even know what to do with him except be in awe. “And so you’ll go on a second date with me!” 


	3. star festival (gift)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the one (1) makoto chapter if you're not here for izu&mako things (it's still izuleo i promise)
> 
> spot the cameo!!!

Leo doesn’t forget. He just...conveniently misplaces things he’s supposed to remember. 

“So I managed to wrap up early,” Izumi says in lieu of hello, and Leo, still half in a haze from composing, makes a noise that probably sounds like an affirmative because he just keeps going on, “and I’ll make it back for our anniversary after all.” 

“Oh, good, our anniversary!” What Leo really means to say is something more like “our anniversary?”, but generally people frown upon that being phrased as a question. At least Eichi did. Izumi, Leo is pretty sure, is probably the same. 

“I have to run right now, but I wanted to give you the good news. I’ll be home tomorrow, okay?” Izumi says, and only now Leo can kind of hear the out of breath sounds, like he’s on the run somewhere. “Love you.” 

“I love you too!” Leo says. And because nerves sound like excitement, Izumi doesn’t even comment on it when he hangs up. 

Their anniversary is important. 

Their _first_ anniversary is _really_ important. 

And Leo is still here in--the living room. The living room is where he is, he’s pretty sure, looking around wildly at the explosion of papers everywhere, but especially all over the couch. 

He can start here at least, gathering up his papers and running them over to his desk in what takes far too many trips because after he’s got one handful and thinks they’re all cleaned, another one seems to pop up from somewhere (under the table, under the TV, under the couch, _in_ the couch--). But after the living room is at least not covered in all his music and Leo is left sitting alone on the floor in front of their coffee table, it really sinks in. 

His anniversary is tomorrow, _and he is so fucked_. And not even in the fun way.

\---

“Mama, you’re married.” 

“I sure am!” Madara’s voice is such a comforting thing, even at whatever time it is right now. Leo’s almost a little afraid to check. “Are you trying to ask for my hand again?”

Leo groans loudly into his (Izumi’s, actually, but commandeered for Leo’s purposes right now) (Leo’s purpose of really, really, _really_ missing Izumi) pillow. “No, not this time! It’s about Sena.” 

“You’re trying to propose to Izumi-san?” 

“No, he’s gonna yell at me if I try that!” Leo rolls over to Izumi’s side of the bed with a whine and a _whump_. “I need something else!” 

“Are you going to make me guess, Leo-san? Are we playing a game now?” Madara laughs his hearty laugh. It eases something just a little in Leo, hearing it. It’s really not fair that Madara has to be out of the country while Izumi is too. Madara’s sweater that he left (Leo’s not actually that sure if he _really_ left it accidentally, since even when Leo tells him to take it back, it always ends up back in his closet somehow) is too baggy to wear to bed, but no one’s here to yell at him about it now. 

(Which is also the problem.) 

“It’s a little late for games for you though, Leo-san!” Madara scolding him is like music to his ears after being apart for so long and has Leo fishing through his comforter for his phone. 

“It’s not a game! This time, I guess? Next time I’ll call you to play something though, wahaha!” No, no. Sidetracked. Getting sidetracked. That’s not Izumi. Leo squeezes Izumi’s pillow before he panics and tries to unsqueeze it, squish it back into shape because Izumi gets particular about his pillows. “No, not that! But I need an anniversary gift for Sena!” 

“Already one year, huh?” There’s something in Madara’s voice that Leo can’t put his finger on. Something a little wistful and a little bit in wonder. That’s okay. Leo is too. Why Izumi’s been here for a year is beyond him too. “Why not write him something?” 

“I write him things all the time though!” Leo whines as he flops onto his own pillow, leaving Izumi’s alone for now. “If I just write him _another_ song, it’s not special!” 

“I think _all_ your songs are special though, haha!” 

Madara isn’t wrong (which, he rarely is after all, that’s why Leo called him first). But that’s not very helpful right now, is it? 

“But it’s got to be _extra_ special for Sena if it’s our one year anniversary! And it’s--” Leo checks his phone and winces a little, “later today!” 

“How about I bring you something back from France, then?” 

“But if _you_ bring it for me, that’s not really _me_ giving Sena a gift, is it?” Is it? No. That’s cheating, right? He can’t cheat on Izumi’s anniversary gift. That would make him a cheater. “Help me think of something. Mamaaaaaaaa.” 

“Doesn’t the restaurant guy owe you a favor?” 

“There’s a restaurant guy?” Leo wracks his thoughts, trying to come up with who the hell Madara might be referring to, but of course, now that he’s trying to come up with it, he can’t remember ever setting foot into a restaurant in his entire life. 

“Niki-san, the one we went to school with. You wrote his wedding song,” Madara says patiently. Because he’s a saint. And a really good guy also. 

There’s only a few wedding songs Leo’s written (which is kind of sad, weddings are fun to write about!), but the most recent one was... “The one with the bee boyfriend!” 

“I think they’re husbands now, Leo-san.” 

“So I got it, then?!” 

“Why don’t you ask him to see if he can get you into his restaurant?” 

“Yes, perfect!” Leo scrolls through his phone looking for a “Niki”, which doesn’t actually come up, but the bee thing does. Bee boyfriend. He’s already sent the text asking before it hits him. “Wait, but Sena is super picky about his food isn’t he?!” 

“Is he?” Madara says. But he says it _that_ way. Which means that Leo is right, and Madara is just being nice about it. 

“So it’s still not a present. Mamaaaaa.” Leo isn’t above whining to his best friend. (He’s actually not above whining in general, but _especially_ not to Madara.) 

“How about you sleep on it, Leo-san?” It’s not a _bad_ idea. Certainly not the _worst_ idea right now at--bordering on 4 in the morning. “I’m sure whatever you get him will make him happy as long as it’s from you and from the heart!” 

“You’re sappy, you know that?” 

“It’s part of my charm, haha!” 

\---

Still, Madara isn’t _wrong_. Because, of course, Madara is (almost) never wrong. So shooting a frantic text off to Ritsu and Arashi after hanging up with Madara and waking up not enough hours later, Leo is squinting down at his phone, trying to drink his coffee down as fast as humanly possible while he tries to figure out the directions to the place Arashi sent him. 

Time is fluid, Leo decides, because somehow looking for directions turns into browsing through shops turns into looking them up on YouTube turns into an hour later and rushing around his room to find pants before he bursts out the door to catch the next train. 

“Tsukipi, you’re la~te,” is how Ritsu greets him before slumping over onto his back once he finds them sitting outside at one of the cafes near the shopping center when he couldn’t find them out front of the mall like they said they’d be. 

Maybe that’s fair.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry!” he pants out of breath, Madara’s sweater nearly sliding off one shoulder because he didn’t have time to change out of it. It’s chilly out, though. He’s pretty thankful he’s got it at least. “I made you wait, I’m sorry!” 

“Ritsu-chan and I never get to catch up like this though, so it’s okay, Leo-chan~” Arashi hums happily as they head back for the mall. Her manicure is a flashy, glittery pink, even in the dulled spring sun. “What time does Izumi-chan land?” 

“Grr, I was trying to find stuff online for Sena too, but I still couldn’t find anything, and he’s home in--” Leo squints down at his phone quickly, trying to think back to Izumi’s text that he’d sent before he’d gotten on the plane, “like 4 hours? And I’m supposed to go to meet Niki to pick up food from him for dinner, but Sena doesn’t eat!” 

“If it’s dinner with Tsukipi, he probably would though,” Ritsu points out as they wander into the mall. “Even if it’s just sitting around watching you eat.” 

“But I’ve got to get him something nice still,” Leo says, frowning at all of the stores in front of them. Malls have too many stores, he’s decided. There’s too many places to buy nice things for Izumi. 

“Maybe we can start with jewelry,” Arashi says gently as she guides them into the fancy jewelry store near the front, “and go from there, hm?” 

\---

“Maybe I’ll just break up with Sena and say that getting back together is our anniversary gift.” 

“That’s kind of dark, isn’t it, Leo-chan?” 

“No, you should absolutely do that. And then I’ll break up with him too.” 

Leo looks over at Ritsu sprawled over the entire length of the bench they’ve commandeered, leaving him and Arashi to perch on the handles at each end. “Are you gonna get back together too?” 

“No, he’s stupid for making me walk around this much, and I hate him,” comes Ritsu’s replied, mumbled into the bench. 

“It _is_ rather unfortunate that Izumi-chan is _so_ hard to shop for,” Arashi says with a sigh. She sips her drink, some fruity tea thing they picked up for her, despondently. Leo copies her, mostly because his milk tea is making his hand wet and the chewing helps him think. “We’ve looked everywhere and _still_ haven’t found anything for him.” 

“See, this is why I needed help, but we still haven’t found anything even working together! I thought working together was supposed to be a good thing!” Leo throws his hands up in frustration. Pacing. Pacing is what he needs. Pacing while he drinks more of his milk tea. 

Buying just _anything_ for Izumi is hard enough, when he’s picky and particular about things. Jewelry was out when Arashi pointed out what looked good with Izumi’s skin tone and coloring and all that fashion stuff Leo didn’t actually understand. But then clothing was out because he could just buy and wear nice things all the time. But then also, Leo couldn’t just get him _stuff_ for their anniversary that wasn’t meaningful and so. 

Now they’re here. 

Now they’re here, and Izumi is going to think he’s a terrible boyfriend. 

“Ara, is that Makoto-chan?” 

Leo and Ritsu both look at each other and then at where Arashi is looking, but even that is still enormously unhelpful. Leo squints, even trying to look from Arashi’s position on the bench once she vacates it to wander over to...whoever she’s talking about. “Who?” 

“Makoto-chan!” Arashi calls out, which does _not_ answer their questions, but it does at least put a face to the name. 

A blonde guy, with nerdy glasses and nerdier looking sweater, glances up and smiles nervously. Understandable, of course. Arashi is frankly too beautiful even Leo gets intimidated sometimes, and he’s supposed to be friends with her. But he still makes his way over to them, cautiously approaching like a curious baby animal. 

“Narukami-san,” Makoto--that’s what Arashi said, right?--says, looking more and more nervous by the second, “it’s been awhile.”

“Does Naru really know this kid?” Leo whispers to Ritsu, and Ritsu just shrugs. 

“Makoto-chan, you’re so formal still! Arashi will do, if you don’t want to call me onee-chan~” Arashi says as she tugs him over to sit on the bench, pushing Ritsu upright. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever!” 

“Ah, fine I guess. Are you still modeling with Izumi-san?” Makoto leans away from Ritsu’s quiet leering, though Leo’s not sure why. That’s not even Ritsu’s “let me eat you” face. That’s just him squinting at Makoto and trying to place him, he thinks. 

Wait. Wait, Izumi. Izumi!

“You know Sena!” Leo shouts. Oops. Oops, too loud, too loud, Makoto shrinks back a little when he speaks. “How do you know Sena?” 

“Leo-chan, this is Yuuki Makoto-chan,” Arashi says, but she looks uncertain about it. Still, Leo knows that name from somewhere. “Izumi-chan and I worked with him when we were younger.” 

“Secchan’s Yuu-kun,” Ritsu says slowly, and it’s like the lights have turned on. 

“W-wait, you mean Izumi-san still talks about me?” 

Somehow, Makoto isn’t what Leo was picturing when he imagined Izumi talking about Yuu-kun. With the way Izumi talks about him, Leo had always imagined someone with more of a presence, with the way he seems to inhabit every corner of Izumi’s life in some way. 

This unassuming blond guy in glasses is the person Izumi gave up everyone else ( _even Leo_ ) for. 

There’s the beginnings of a (terrible, awful, maybe okay) plan taking shape, and the time for thinking it through should be now. He should be mulling over the consequences now, what Izumi might say, or if he’ll react badly, or anything at all, but there’s no time even for that. 

“Makoto! Come with me, I wanna talk to you about something!” 

\---

“Where the hell have you been, sending Kuma-kun to pick me up, and--” 

The slack-jawed look on Izumi’s face is priceless and almost worth the time Leo had to spend convincing Makoto to come see him. 

“Hi, Izumi-san,” Makoto says meekly. It doesn’t really feel the silence, but for maybe the first time since Leo’s met him, Izumi is actually speechless. Not a word out of him. 

On the one hand, stunning Izumi silent is a major accomplishment, and Leo has half a mind to crow about it to their group chat and snap a picture for proof. On the other hand, something insidious and rude and _mean_ wells up in him because Izumi’s never, _ever_ looked at him like that.

“Yuu-kun.” Izumi breathes his name out like it’s a prayer, reverential and in awe, and carefully, oh so carefully getting to his feet and making his way over to Makoto. Something makes Leo’s blood rush when he hears it, makes him flush and look away and slink away out of their living room as quickly as he can. To give them space. (So he doesn’t have to watch.) 

( _Jealousy_ , that same insidious something whispers, _you’re jealous_.)

If Leo steals away and locks himself in the guest room and turns his music up just a little too loud to hear what’s going on while he writes until it feels like his hand will fall off, no one comes to yell at him about it. 

\---

Coffee. Coffee is ostensibly the reason why Leo finally emerges from the guest room some time later, fingers cramping. His hands ache with a bone-deep soreness, and his vision is the kind of bleary that edges on blurred. 

(If he manages to make himself a cup, will he even be able to hold the mug? That’s a problem for future Leo.) 

There’s still a light on in the kitchen and the smell of coffee, and it’s enough for Leo to stumble his way over even in his haze. Someone’s in the kitchen, leaning over the counter. Which makes sense for why the light would still be on, he supposes. It certainly makes more sense than, say, elves who snuck into their apartment to flip on light switches and coffeemakers for fun, which was the hypothesis he _was_ going with. 

“Sena, you’re still--” _here_ , “--awake.” 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Izumi says. There’s a pot of coffee already half gone next to him on the counter. Leo doesn’t even have to ask; Izumi reaches around him for his mug and pours him a cup all the same. “Jetlag.”

“Thought you would be…” Leo waves a hand around. It hurts, and he _can’t_ make his fingers wrap around the handle, even after shaking them out like this. “Not here.” 

Izumi raises an oh-so-elegant eyebrow as he reaches out to take Leo’s hands, warmed from the heat of his coffee, to dig right into where it hurts. “Why would I not be here? It’s our anniversary.” 

“I don’t know, I--” Leo yelps when Izumi digs _really_ hard right into a knot on his palm. There’s nowhere to squirm back to, though, when Izumi has his hand and can follow him around their tiny kitchen until he’s miserably leaning against the counters. “Hey, that one hurt a lot!” 

“It’s your own fault for overworking it,” Izumi points out. As he, completely unrepentantly, goes for another knot. “I didn’t even get to see you.”

“I was busy doing things!” Leo’s not sulking on the floor while Izumi massages his hands. He’s not sulking in the slightest. He is just very simply pointing out facts. Clear and relevant and obvious facts that make the insidious lizard voice in his head sing-song that he’s _jealous, jealous, jea~lous_. “And you were busy with your Yuu-kun thing! I thought it was the perfect gift if you got to see him again, but then I didn't realize that you’d--” 

Leo doesn’t know how to finish that sentence. 

(He doesn’t _want_ to finish that sentence. Saying it, speaking it into existence like that, feels dangerous.) 

Izumi is inscrutable, when Leo finally manages to meet his even gaze. There are gears turning over in his head; Leo can see them working in his expression. But what they’re working _towards_ , he can’t tell. He can’t read Izumi, and that shouldn’t scare him. He’s supposed to not know things about Izumi, things that Izumi hides because that’s just how people are. But here, now, with the specter of Makoto hanging (and Izumi’s reverent _Yuu-kun_ ringing in his ears), it just feels like there’s a distance that Leo doesn’t know if he’s bridging. 

“You know,” Izumi says casually, which feels like a trap if Leo’s ever heard one, “I spent hours on a plane flying home to see you in time for our anniversary--which you brought someone else to, by the way--and you haven’t even kissed me yet.” 

Leo blinks. And then blinks again. And again, just to be sure. Just in case this is actually all just some illusion, some composition-induced hallucination. “You’re staying.” 

“We talked,” Izumi says. “I didn’t get that chance before. Thank you.” 

“And you’re still staying.” 

_You’re staying, even though you would’ve thrown the world away at his word. You’re staying even though I’m not him. You’re staying even though you had the chance not to._

“Yuu-kun is...someone I want to protect.” Leo should feel bad about teasing the story out of Izumi in such slow, careful words. He will in the morning, when Izumi is in his arms and not anywhere else. “But things are different now.” 

“Because of me.” 

Izumi’s smile is the warmest thing about him. Every time Leo gets to see it, he knows. He knows that he’s the luckiest guy in the world that this is _his_ , all his. The way his eyes go soft and how they crinkle, just at the edges, makes Leo melt, no matter how much Izumi will complain about crow’s feet this, wrinkles that. How his smile is just a little crooked when he’s not really paying attention much to it. 

“Happy anniversary, idiot. Don’t bring other people next year.” 

His kisses taste like coffee and a hint of their mint toothpaste and all of the warmest feelings Leo can muster for him.

“I love you too, Izumi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who you think is mama's husband is up to you tbh (except for leo i guess technically) (they can still be married too if you want)


	4. checkmate (memories)

“Excuse me~!” 

Izumi freezes. His hands clamp down iron-tight around his towel. There’s a bead of water dripping its way too slowly down his back. He most definitely locked the door when he came home, but Madara sits on the couch with his most winning smile anyways, as though he  _ hasn’t _ just broken into their apartment somehow. 

“Who do you think you are, exactly?” Izumi shouts through his apartment as he stalks back to his bedroom before he even gets a response back from Madara. He throws on a simple black shirt and hesitates. The sweatpants on the bed are calling to him, but he can’t. Not when there are guests, even if they are very annoying and very loud and, apparently, very good at getting into places they shouldn’t. 

Whatever. At least his legs look good in jeans. 

The smell of tea hits him first when he walks back into the living room, towel drying his hair. “All right, what is it? Naru-chan doesn’t get home for another hour at least. She’s got a shoot. Knowing her, it’ll be longer.”

“Oh, I know!” Madara’s voice is always too loud. Izumi glaring does nothing to make it quieter. “She told me where to find the key!” 

“So…?” Izumi fiddles with the teacup Madara sets in front of him, rapping gently on the table when it’s full. It smells English, but the tin doesn’t look familiar to him. Maybe Arashi’s then. He should feel guilty about drinking from her personal stash, but if she’s going to let her mountain man soulmate friend in, then she can deal with Izumi drinking her good tea. “Why’re you here, then?” 

“Why, Izumi-san,” Madara says as he pours himself a cup, “I wanted to talk to you, of course!”

Izumi sips his tea evenly, but Madara’s smile never wavers. (It’ll bother him more later, when he tries to tell Arashi exactly why her soulmate is so unsettling, when he tries to explain all the ways that Madara gets under his skin and sets him on edge, even though she’ll laugh it off and say that’s just part of his charm.)

The tea is damn good, though. Arashi’s been holding out on him. 

“Leo-san’s tattoo is filling in nicely, you know!” Madara’s voice tries to be light and conversational. Like talking to an animal you’re trying to corner. Izumi’s jaw tightens, fingers gripping the handle of his mug hard. “The butterfly especially. I really like how it’s turning out!” 

“ _ My _ tattoos are private,” Izumi says peevishly, “so if you have a point you want to make, spit it out before I throw you out.” 

“Why are you back in his life?”

Well. Izumi did say to be direct. 

“It’s not like I knew it was him.” 

The tattoo-- _ Leo’s _ tattoo--peeks just out from under the collar of his shirt: the beginnings of a dark blue lion’s head silhouetted dotted through with stars and a moon as its eye, winking, a pair of swords crossed behind it, and the trail of a music staff curled around it all. Lines he traced with fondness, with disgust, with confusion. A brand. (It certainly burned like one the night it etched itself onto his chest again.) 

“And if you had?” Madara’s voice chills him, but Izumi doesn’t  _ do _ cowed and doe-eyed in terror. Sipping his tea gives him the pause he needs, even though Madara’s expression doesn’t change. 

“Things were different then.” Therapy. Time. Distance.  _ Therapy _ . “If Leo-kun doesn’t want me, he can tell me himself. My feelings aren’t so fragile that I need you to play messenger.” 

“Leo-san is too nice. He loves too easily. That’s what’s great about him! But people take advantage of that. Someone has to be there to make sure that it doesn’t hurt him,” Madara says with equal parts steel and fondness. Funny how many people Leo seems to inspire that in. “You severing your bond nearly broke him.” 

“It’s not like I was doing it just to him,” Izumi says. The tea isn’t so great anymore, not with the unsettled clenching feeling in his gut. “I didn’t single him out.” 

“Is that really better?” Madara smiles a shark’s smile, one with too many teeth and too much menace. 

Izumi’s faced worse. (Worse wasn’t platonic soulmates with his boyfriend, though, and Izumi would  _ very _ much like to keep seeing Leo, no matter the mountain man that gets in his way.) “It’s what it was. I wasn’t in a good place. Keeping those bonds with the person I was then wouldn’t have been worth it.” 

He wasn’t worth it. 

(Is he now, though?) 

Izumi can’t help ghosting a hand over to his side. The ache in his chest (on his left side, right over his ribs, right where Makoto and his bright yellow sunflowers used to be) is omnipresent. Talk of tattoos always makes his side ache more like a punishment, a reminder that a hole was torn away from Izumi’s very soul that no one’s come close to filling. 

(Even though that’s not true, that’s  _ not _ true, echoes of his therapist remind him. He’s not the same person that Makoto left all alone in the world. Even if haphazardly, he’s been patched together by love and feelings and everyone else in his life who have all tried very,  _ very _ hard to keep him in one piece simply because  _ they care _ . 

Has it worked? He doesn’t  _ feel  _ very whole most days. But it’s undeniable that Leo’s done more, made him feel more  _ together _ since they started dating.) 

“I’m not going to do that to him again,” Izumi says with a finality that (almost) feels weighty and true. “I’m telling you, things are different.” 

“For his sake, I want to believe that.” 

_ Me too _ , Izumi can’t help but think darkly as he sips his tea, now tepid and cooling. 

The silence between them is thick, charged with something tense and electric. Izumi doesn’t fidget because he was raised better than that, keeping his expression carefully neutral even while Madara watches him like a predator watches his prey. Like he’s waiting for Izumi to do the wrong thing, say the wrong words. 

Izumi doesn’t want to say the wrong thing either. Not when Leo is the one at stake. Finishing off his tea gives him time to process, to think through what he wants to say next, what information he can probe from Madara. 

“You said it broke him. When I broke our bond.” 

Madara leans forward with a heavy exhale. The right thing to say, evidently. Something in his expression shutters, and for the first time, he’s not smiling, frowning at the ground, fingers laced together. That more than anything else makes Izumi nervous, for the first time. “We were out together. I took him to a concert! He was having a really good time. And then, one moment, he was enjoying himself, and the next, he’s got this blank expression on his face and tells me he can’t hear the music anymore.” 

Izumi’s stomach sinks with a bitter, bitter feeling. Taking deep, measured breaths is the only way he can calm it right now, fighting at the feeling of guilt clawing at his throat. Leo lives and breathes music, humming when he makes breakfast, doodling bars on anything he can reach when he has a pen in hand. It’s how he expresses anything, everything. 

And Izumi took that away from him. 

Izumi swallows thickly. “He’s better, now?” He doesn’t mean to phrase it as a question, but he has to be sure. 

“It was a near thing,” Madara says slowly. Something distasteful creeps into his expression. “I almost lost him. He wouldn’t eat or drink, just wrote and wrote and wrote every day, every minute, every second. To find the music he was missing, but no matter where he looked, it wasn’t there, like it was ripped out of him. There was no other option but to take him to the hospital. He met Eichi-san there.” Ah. That explains the sour look on Madara’s face, then. “I  _ tolerate _ Eichi-san for Leo-san’s sake, but he helped Leo-san find something.” 

Of course he did. Because Izumi wasn’t there. 

(Because Izumi left Leo alone the same way Makoto left him alone, because Izumi was hurt and alone and the marks on his skin were all people who weren’t  _ enough _ .) 

“And now Leo-san is how he is,” Madara says. His fingers are white, Izumi notices absently as he unlaces them and straightens again. That plastic, feral smile is back on his face again, and it feels even more “The whole sordid tale, kickstarted by you!”

The reminder is wholly unwelcome. Like a punch to the gut, it knocks the air out of Izumi, until he manages to haltingly get out, “I didn’t mean to do that to him. I’m sorry.” 

“I’m not the one you should be saying that to, Izumi-san.” Madara doesn’t soften, exactly, but the edges seem to smooth around his face with pity.  _ Pity _ . Izumi bites his lip, but it doesn’t stop the anger from filling him. “But that’s a pretty good start. You seem sincere. But if you  _ do _ try that to Leo-san again, I imagine our next talk won’t go so nicely, haha!” 

Izumi nods stiffly because he doesn’t trust his voice when he doesn’t know what will come out.  _ I won’t, I promise _ , is what he wants to say. Maybe it’s what Madara is looking for, but is that what he really means? 

( _ It’s all my fault. Leo was hurt and it was all my fault. I was selfish and made a selfish choice, and he’s still here, and I don’t deserve that, and I never will. _ )

The twist of a key in the door saves him from answering, glancing up to see Arashi in the doorway, coat slung over her arm. She’s as elegant as ever, and somehow, seeing her just the same as always, put together and prim and proper, makes Izumi ease back in his seat.

“Ara, Mama, you’re still here?” she says as she bustles around the entryway. Her eyes are sharp as she looks between them. She always manages to suss out whatever he tries to hide. (Maybe he should stop trying, but letting people in without a fight? Couldn’t be him.) “Are you and Izumi-chan doing okay?” 

“I was actually just finishing up with Izumi-san!” Madara says, his voice bright and chipper again like he usually is. There’s not even a hint in his demeanor that they were talking about anything heavier than the weather. How he does that, Izumi doesn’t know. (He almost wants to, because that would be  _ so _ convenient for modeling, if he could just turn an expression on or off, but at the same time, how much more is Madara hiding, then?) “I told Leo-san I’d make dinner with him, so I can’t stay today, but maybe next time!” 

“Of course, of course!” Arashi says as she holds the door open for Madara. Izumi gives a half-hearted wave that, unfortunately for him, she  _ also _ notices. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

With Madara out of the apartment and door locked, Arashi turns to him with a critical eye as she gathers their mugs. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Izumi looks away. She’ll know something’s up. She already does. But he can’t find it in him to care right now, thoughts turning over too loudly and too quickly, and all about  _ Leo _ and all of the ways he’s already done wrong by him. Getting to his feet and heading back to his room is easier. 

“You never  _ want _ to talk about it,” Arashi sighs, “but you  _ should _ talk about it. Find me later, okay?” 

(He won’t. He knows he won’t, and she knows he won’t, that he’ll just let his thoughts stew and stew and stew until they blow and they’ve spilled out, and he can’t let her see that.) 

(Even though she knows, she  _ knows _ , And she still cares, in spite of it all. God, he really is the worst, isn’t he?) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still earning that light angst tag hell YEAH sorry for the exposition dump yall


	5. fleur de lis (flowers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's some eichi & leo in this chapter! it can be read however you like, and i don't really go into terribly explicit detail about what their relationship looks like, but they are "together" for whatever togetherness means in this AU (romantic or platonic shrugs)

“Leo-kun, are you--” 

Izumi stops in the doorway. 

No Leo rolling around on the ground, with a trail of papers showing his travels around the room following patches of sunlight like the world’s largest cat. No Leo shouting his name from one of the other rooms and barreling over to give him a hug. Not even a Leo singing loudly in the shower. 

Where is he? 

Izumi  _ knows _ that he’s running late, a little out of breath as he slips off his shoes and hangs his jacket and leaves his umbrella open at the entrance to dry off, but he’d shot Leo a message from the train to wait for him. And Leo hadn’t even told him he was running out anywhere, scrolling through his LINE just in case he’d missed something, but no. Nothing from Leo. 

“So much for celebrating,” Izumi mutters. The apartment doesn’t answer back. 

And the job he’d landed was such a big opportunity, too. When Izumi had texted Leo earlier about it, asking him if he wanted to go out for dinner, Leo had seemed pretty positive about it then, but. It wouldn’t really be out of the realm of possibility that it hadn’t been Leo on the phone. Or that he’d just plain forgotten about going out (though that wouldn’t explain why he wasn’t home  _ now _ ). 

Even texting Leo that he was home now didn’t garner any response either. Not that he was  _ really  _ expecting one when remembering his phone wasn’t exactly Leo’s forte, but still. It helped to be hopeful sometimes, at least. 

With nothing to do but wait, Izumi fusses in the kitchen, debating whether it’s worth putting on some water for tea when he finally hears the click of the lock and the door opening. 

“Leo-kun, where the hell have you been?” he calls from the kitchen. No tea for today, then. Izumi makes sure they’re slid back into their  _ correct _ places in the cabinets (and not in the original cabinets he’d found them in, stuffed with Leo’s cereal) before he wanders out to see Leo with a bouquet of deep red roses. 

Maybe waiting wasn’t so bad, actually. 

His heart melts at the sight, even when Leo sets the flowers down on the table and slides a hand through his dripping wet hair to wring it out. 

“Ugh, just. Stay there, let me go grab you a towel, idiot,” Izumi says, heart fluttering at the little smile Leo gives him while he tries to detangle his wet ponytail. 

“Sena is the best~” Leo calls while Izumi rummages through their linen to wrap Leo in one of his favorite fluffy towels. He throws his arms up obediently when Izumi motions so he can dry him off. “I knew I could count on you~” 

“You didn’t even bring an umbrella with you, and now you’re dripping on the floor,” Izumi says with a huff and a roll of his eyes, but the grin he gives Leo belies his grumpy tone. “Just let me know the next time you’re running late, okay?” 

“Wahaha, I didn’t mean to make you worry!” Leo says. He’s unrepentant, even when Izumi ruffles and rubs his hair dry. He feels more like his mother than his boyfriend doing this, but Leo’s sunshiney grin popping out once Izumi’s done does a lot to lighten his mood. 

“The flowers are beautiful too,” Izumi says. Maybe if he brings it up, it’ll jog Leo’s memory? “Are they for me?” 

“Ahh…” The look of confusion that crosses Leo’s face already has Izumi’s heart sinking. “Something good happened to you today then!” 

“I told you about it earlier though.” 

“Did you?” Leo whips out his phone, and Izumi should nag him about getting so distracted like this. He’s about to, when it strikes him. 

Leo had his phone on him when he was out. Presumably while Izumi was messaging him about being home. And just like that, Izumi’s good mood evaporates as quickly as it comes. Of course Leo wouldn’t be thinking about him. Or even if he was, of course there would be something-- _ someone _ \--else that would take precedence over Izumi.

(There are so many deep, dark things that whisper in his ear and tell him that he’s a mistake, it’s all a mistake, that Leo never cared about him, never  _ could _ care about him when Izumi’s done everything wrong, every step of the way with him.) 

“You did, you did!” Leo laughs. At least he has the sense to stop when he sees Izumi’s expression darken, though. “Sena, I forgot, I--” 

“Who are they for?” Izumi doesn’t want to look at them. He has a sneaking suspicion that he knows who they  _ are _ for, though. Asking is more of an act in masochism. No matter who Leo says they’re for, all it means is that it’s someone else who came before Izumi in Leo’s thoughts, who Leo would think about first before him. 

“Tenshi’s back in the hospital again,” Leo says quietly. 

Izumi closes his eyes. Of course it’s Eichi. Of course, because Eichi was there to pick up all the pieces that Izumi left behind and glued Leo back together the way he wanted and filled in the cracks and Leo--

Leo’s better with him than without. 

( _ Certainly better than Izumi _ , something dark and ugly hisses.) 

“We were supposed to go out. You said it was okay.” Izumi’s voice doesn’t shake, and for that, he’s thankful. But he still can’t look at Leo, looks anywhere  _ but _ Leo as he takes a heavy seat on the couch. He stares at the wall just above their TV, where there are a few scattered pictures of them and their friends taped up because it’s cheaper than buying picture frames. Moments of their tenuous, little happiness together. “You didn’t even tell me. You didn’t even think to let me know that something else came up. Tenshouin calls, and you just go.” 

“Sena, that’s not fair, he’s really sick this time!” Feeling bad for Tenshouin Eichi is simply not something he cares for right now. Maybe later, he’ll remember that Eichi isn’t terrible and that it actually is a shame for him to be sick and also that he actually  _ has _ been good for Leo. And that Leo has a good heart, capable of caring so much about others, but for now, he just wants to be angry and hurt and mad at  _ something _ . “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry! I’ll make it up to you tomorrow though, promise!” 

Leo promises things easily and freely because giving his heart and his time away to others is of little consequence to him, and Izumi does love that about him on a better day than this. But today, it just reminds him of how selfish he is, trying to keep Leo at his side and only his when he has other people in his life when that’s supposed to be okay. He’s supposed to have that. 

( _ But they’re other soulmates he cares about more than you-- _ ) 

( _ Shut up, that’s not what this is _ , Izumi shoots back fiercely.  _ It’s okay. I’m okay. We’re okay. _ )

“If he’s sick, then just go,” Izumi says finally, trying to shake his thoughts out. He keeps the bitterness out of his voice well, he thinks. “You said he’s sick, then go make sure he’s okay.” 

“Really, Sena?” Leo says cautiously. Izumi swallows down the gross thing that wants to say no, that wants to keep Leo here, Eichi be damned. Instead, he doesn’t say a word as Leo creeps closer and closer until he’s sitting on the couch next to him. Reaching out for Leo’s hand is practically instinct, but holding Leo’s hand is a grounding thing that Izumi can at least be relieved he has right now. “You’re not mad.” 

“No.” Izumi glances over at Leo and his earnest expression and his big, expressive green eyes and sighs. “No, I’m not mad, okay? You care about him. He’s sick. Just go see him.” 

“Sena, you’re the best!” Leo shouts as he throws his arms around him, squeezing tight. Izumi lets himself have this moment of Leo in his arms, even if his shirt is damp, and his hair is wet and sticks to Izumi’s neck while he hugs him. 

“Just tell me next time, Leo-kun,” Izumi says with a sigh. “So I can figure stuff out too, and I’m not just worrying about where you are or something.” 

“Wahaha, of course! Even though Sena worrying about me just means that he cares~” Leo says. He leaves a wet kiss on Izumi’s cheek that has him rolling his eyes, but he drops a kiss on Leo’s forehead all the same. 

“We can still go out tomorrow, it’s fine. Whatever works, okay?” Izumi kisses him lightly; any more and he might try to keep Leo here for a lot longer than he means to. “Visiting hours will close if you don’t hurry, though.” 

“Argh, what time is it, what time is it?!” Leo springs into action with his usual flurry of activity, fluttering around their apartment for his keys and wallet and  _ especially _ his phone that Izumi makes sure to watch him put away in his pocket. 

Pressing an umbrella into Leo’s hand feels like too small of a gesture, but the warm and hapless smile Leo gives him in return just warms Izumi’s chest and makes him lean in to kiss Leo once. Just once, slow and languid against the door before he has to push him out so he can catch the train. 

“Love you, Sena~!” Leo calls down the hallway before disappearing down the stairs. 

“Love you too, Leo-kun,” Izumi says quietly to himself and to their empty hallway and their empty apartment.

He’ll say it out loud to Leo soon. He’ll tell him soon. He’ll admit everything to Leo because if he doesn’t, maybe he won’t  _ get _ the chance. That’s what Izumi tells himself, slinking back into their apartment and scrolling through his contacts until he finds Ritsu’s name.

“Hey, Kuma-kun, come over.” 

“Haa? What if I were busy? What would you do then, Secchan~?” 

“You’re never busy, and I miss you.” 

(Later, Ritsu will hold him in his and Leo’s bed when Leo doesn’t come home for the night, and he’ll pet his hair softly and tell him that he’s been good, he’s been good enough, because he’s here for Izumi. And maybe Izumi will actually try to believe him.) 


	6. fortune banquet (family)

“Se~na, we need to go!” Leo calls, fiddling with his phone to text Arashi updates, like how slow Izumi is. Even while pulling on his coat and locking the door behind them, Izumi is still trying to fix his hair in the camera on his phone. “It looks so good though, you always look good, Sena!” 

“Ugh, this new haircut is killing me,” Izumi says instead of replying. He twists something in his...bangs, Leo thinks? But truth be told, he can’t actually tell what’s changed. Izumi’s hair is just as fluffy and soft-looking as it always is. It shines so beautifully in the streetlights as they head for the nearby train station. “You should’ve given me five more minutes.

“But you’re already late for your party, and everyone’s there waiting, and if you took any longer--” 

Wait. 

Why is Izumi looking at him so funny? Does he have something on his face? 

“You said we were meeting Kuma-kun and Naru-chan and Kasa-kun for dinner,” Izumi says slowly. Oh. Oh, that’s his figuring things out voice. Leo hops from foot to foot nervously as they wait for the train. Whistling? No, whistling will look more suspicious when he doesn’t know how to whistle. 

“I mean…” Leo laughs, and from the narrowing of Izumi’s eyes, he can  _ tell _ Izumi is picking up on his nervousness. Shit. “We are! There’s dinner, and they’re going to be there!” 

“Leo-kun…” Izumi says in  _ that _ admonishing tone, and Leo’s done for. 

“Okay, it’s a surprise party and I’m supposed to bring you, and we’re running late already, but you were just looking really nice, so I didn’t want to rush you that much!” Leo says all in one breath as their train finally pulls up. 

Izumi raises an eyebrow as they squish into the train. Still, he can’t be that mad when he reaches out to steady Leo against his chest with an arm wrapped around his waist. “Why did they leave  _ you _ to do it?”

“I was the one who came up with it!” Leo glares up at him. “So I got to be the one to bring you!” 

“Even though you forgot it was supposed to be a surprise.”

“I just...forgot you didn’t know, that’s all.” Leo steps a little more into Izumi’s space, deliberately stepping (gently) on his toes as more people crowd in. “And it’s supposed to be a surprise, so I’m not gonna talk about it anymore!” 

“How did you even decide on a surprise party?” Izumi says with his amused, crooked little smile. No one’s looking at them, so Leo takes his chance to lean up and steal a kiss from him, just the side of his mouth that quirks up. “Doesn’t answer my question, Leo-kun.” 

“Was hoping it’d distract you,” Leo mumbles. “Sure it didn’t work, even a little?” 

“Nope, tell me about the party.”

“Well, you just have lots of friends and I wanted to celebrate you, and I didn’t know what to get for you!” Why does shopping for Izumi have to be so hard? Why do his tastes have to be  _ so _ particular? (And how did he still choose Leo, anyways?) “And then when I told Rittsu and Naru that I was having trouble, they said I should do a party, so we planned it together!” 

“Those traitors,” Izumi mutters, and Leo can’t help but laugh at the cute way Izumi’s brow furrows when he frowns, sliding a finger up to smooth it out. 

“Wrinkles~” Leo sing-songs. “This station’s ours, by the way. But anyways, it was a good plan, and we got a lot of people you actually like, and there’s really good food, and Mama made the cake!” 

“Why did you let him make the cake?” Izumi says as Leo tugs him off the train car. “You could’ve just gotten a cake from that bakery we go to.”

“But Mama’s cakes are better! He made the one for my birthday, remember? The one you  _ really _ , really liked?” Leo grins as color suffuses through Izumi’s face, squeezing his hand tight as they wander through the crowds. Somewhere around here, if he’s remembering correctly. “So I asked him to make it again!” 

“Where are we even going?” Izumi says. He sounds just a little out of breath, words bouncing with every step they take, but there’s no time to slow down now. His legs might be longer than Leo’s, but Leo’s had years of practice trying to keep up with Eichi and Madara when they walk, and they both walk  _ so _ fast when given the right incentive. “You haven’t told me!” 

“Well if you know where it is, I have to keep something a surprise, don’t I?!” Leo says as they wind their way through people. The plaza they cut through isn’t terribly busy for a Friday night, but there’s enough people out that they have to duck and weave a bit to get through. “Also you have to act surprised! Suo~ and Naru and Rittsu will get mad if they find out I told you!” 

“You did.”

“Yes, but they don’t  _ have _ to know that, right?”

“You want me to lie to my best friends and yours.”

“Now’s not the time to pretend like you haven’t, Sena.” 

Izumi rolls his eyes as their pace finally slows. Leo checks his phone, just to double and triple check that they’re almost there and he hasn’t gotten them hopelessly lost or off in the wrong direction, but by some stroke of luck, he’s actually  _ right _ for once. “They’re going to find out. You’re bad at secrets, remember?” 

“But you’re not!” Leo grins as they turn the corner to the restaurant. 

Not once has Izumi let go of his hand. 

Their palms are a little sweaty from their jaunt from the train station, but Izumi laces their fingers together as they finally approach the restaurant. His fingers are delicate and long and  _ pretty _ like the rest of him, and Leo can’t help lifting them up to his mouth to drop an idle kiss to his knuckles as they head in. 

“Surprise, remember?” Leo whispers.

“I’m not that bad of an actor,” Izumi hisses back, before shushing him too before they open the door. 

“Surprise!” 

\---

“So how soon did Leo-chan tell you?” Arashi says later, when they’re all pleasantly drunk and lying on the floor of Leo and Tsukasa’s apartment because it’s closer, and Leo has the  _ best _ bean bag chair to cuddle on. The best part is that he and Izumi even fit on it, too. 

“I was good!” Leo only really puts up a token protest when he’s warm and full and has Izumi in his arms. “I was...pretty good.”

“Kept it right until we left for the party,” Izumi says, loose and happy and drowsy, and it just makes Leo want to press in closer to him until they’re the same person. (Is that weird?) “Made me promise to be surprised too.” 

“Because if you weren’t surprised, it’d be dumb!” Leo buries his face into Izumi’s warm back instead of looking at the others. “So you had to!” 

“I’m surprised Tsukipi lasted that long,” Ritsu says from where he’s laid in front of the low living room table. Tsukasa had tried to offer him the couch earlier, but by then, Ritsu had already found the floor, and it was too much work to try and move him. 

“I told you Arashi-san was a better idea” Tsukasa says from where he’s laid out on the couch instead, rolling onto his stomach to look at them. “Or Ritsu-san, he wouldn’t have said anything either. At least Arashi-san wouldn’t have made us wait.” Tsukasa blinks blearily between Arashi, still looking elegant even when she’s sat on the floor and tipsy, and Izumi who’s cradled carefully in Leo’s arms. “Probably.”

“That was Sena’s fault,” Leo whines. Izumi must be  _ very _ drunk because he doesn’t even protest when Leo reaches up to ruffle his hair. Just as fluffy and soft as he remembers. “He kept fixing his hair even when I told him to leave because...something about his haircut.”

“‘s an ugly haircut,” Izumi mumbles into the bean bag. 

“Ugly haircut,” Leo repeats solemnly. 

“Secchan and Tsukipi looked really cute together, though,” Ritsu says. 

“Izumi-chan, you had your hair cut almost three weeks ago,” Arashi says with an affectionate sigh. Petting Izumi’s hair is just compulsive now, running his fingers through the soft strands. Izumi doesn’t say a word. He moves closer even, angling his head so Leo can get the right spot. “It looks fine by now, I’m sure of it.”

“Ugly haircut,” Izumi says. “And it’s my birthday, so you have to agree with me.” 

“Not Leo-san’s birthday nonsense,” Tsukasa groans. “Leo-san, see what you do?” 

“I make very great points, and birthdays are the best? Where’s the problem here?” Leo says. He’s supposed to be the one who’s like a cat, he thinks. That’s what everyone tells him. But Izumi’s practically about to start purring in his arms, and Leo can’t stop from leaving a light kiss on his shoulder. 

“Stop, we get it, you’re in love, and it’s really cute, and you’re going to get married and live happily ever after.” Izumi makes a disgruntled noise and an equally disgruntled and rude gesture in Ritsu’s direction.

“Shh, they’re just jealous because I get to cuddle with Sena for his birthday~” Leo says. This time, he goes for a kiss on the cheek. “And they don’t~”

“I know, I want to cuddle with Izumi-chan too,” Arashi says. Leo can see her scooting closer, though. The bean bag doesn’t have much room left on it. This, in Leo’s opinion, just strengthens his argument that he and Tsukasa need to invest in more pillows so they can make a nest of them in the living room. Exactly for times like these. 

“Secchan, let me cuddle you too~” Ritsu calls, “but you have to come here because I don’t want to move.” 

‘Wouldn’t it just be easier to all move to the bedroom?” Tsukasa says, and maybe he’s right. (He’s been learning from Madara, how to be correct about things all the time, Leo thinks.) “Where there’s more space?”

“And pillows,” Izumi says, and that really seals the discussion. 

They’re all a little uncoordinated and far too big to fit on Leo’s bed without someone falling off at some point. Leo nearly ends up off the edge, if not for Arashi’s quick reflexes. It’s better once they raid Tsukasa’s room for pillows and blankets too, and they have a halfway decent puddle on the ground to lay in. There’s still too many limbs and elbows and feet between the five of them, but Leo doesn’t mind when he gets to curl into the warmth of Izumi’s arms.

“Love you guys,” Izumi mumbles sleepily into Leo’s hair. 

“Happy birthday, Sena,” Leo says and closes his eyes. 


	7. requiem (future)

Izumi is a lot of things, but quiet isn’t one of them. He shuts up when he focuses, like when he’s at work, but something about him is always  _ loud _ . He likes to show off. He likes to be seen. And that works just fine, because Leo likes to watch him. 

So when he doesn’t say a word while they cook dinner, Leo can see the thoughts rolling around in Izumi’s pretty head. He’s busy thinking even when Leo almost burns the fish from forgetting to flip it because he was busy tinkering with the piano for his newest piece, mentioning it to Leo with some half-hearted scolding. He makes noncommittal noises when they eat and Leo tries to tease conversation from him. 

But here’s the thing about Izumi thinking: because he likes to be seen, because he likes to be  _ known _ , he shares his thoughts. And Leo fidgets as he washes the dishes after dinner while Izumi showers, sneaking glances at the bathroom door because he still hasn’t said a word. 

He doesn’t say anything while Leo writes later, not even to yell at him to pick up his papers for throwing them everywhere.

He doesn’t say anything when Leo wanders over to the coffee machine and makes himself a cup, even when it’s too late. 

He doesn’t say anything when Leo crawls into his side of the bed too late and too shaky and too, too awake. 

Actually, that’s fine, because Izumi is still awake too, rolling over to lay an arm over Leo’s hips, soothing something that had shaken loose this evening waiting for Izumi to just say  _ anything _ .

Leo lets his eyes fall shut to the rhythmic feeling of Izumi drawing lines on his skin with his fingertips. A pleased tingle goes through him as Izumi traces his mark on his hip. He wiggles back against him, but without much actual heat when they’re both exhausted. More to get closer and feel Izumi’s skin bare and warm against his. 

Izumi’s mark on him is just as beautiful Izumi is, and that’s a solid, irrefutable fact. 

The lines are delicate and thin and deliberate. The night it came back, Leo could only marvel at the efficiency as they were etched into his skin. A purple butterfly, with dark blue webbing and veins distinct through each outstretched, ensnared wing dotted through with blue roses and thorns, set on a backdrop of cool watercolor smears. 

The night it came back, Leo wrote a symphony while he watched it fill back in, until Izumi’s image swam in his head and Madara had to carry him to bed. 

The motions of Izumi’s hand slows until it’s just resting on his hip, until Leo thinks maybe he’s fallen asleep and stretches a little to pull the blanket up further over them when Izumi finally speaks. 

“Do you hate me? For taking this away?” 

Leo shivers a little at the feeling of his breath ghosting over his bare shoulder. There’s no space for him to turn over to face Izumi, not with the way he’s pressed against his back, forehead stuck to his shoulder. It’s not the most comfortable position, and Izumi is warm, bordering on  _ hot _ , but. 

Izumi was so quiet when he’d spoken. The words sounded like they’d been torn from Izumi, ragged with feeling and  _ weight _ . He doesn’t want to be seen like this; his feelings are already bared enough. 

“Do you want me to?” Leo murmurs. When he drags his fingers over Izumi’s, when he reaches down to slot their fingers together, he gets a kiss on the blade of his shoulder. Soft. Gentle. 

Scared.

“Madara does. He should. It was my fault. This was all my fault.” 

Izumi is a lot of things. He’s beautiful, of course, and he’ll make you notice it. He’s driven and relentless with his goals. He cares, with more depth than he wants to admit. He’s vain and irritable and rude about it, to boot. 

But he’s not vulnerable. He’s never vulnerable. 

Showing more than he needs to show, sharing more than he needs to share, Izumi doesn’t  _ give _ anything in himself away so easily. 

Leo shuts his eyes, trying to breathe through the urge to turn over and drag his stupid boyfriend into the tightest hug. He squeezes Izumi’s hand tight instead. It’s not a poor replacement (nothing about Izumi could be a  _ poor replacement _ ), but it’s not what he  _ wants _ . “Then no, I don’t.” 

The silence almost tricks Leo into thinking Izumi’s fallen asleep, like maybe he actually managed to ease back the thoughts that have strangled Izumi and held fast to him all night, and he settles in to try and shut up his own racing thoughts until Izumi speaks again. 

“How could you not?” Izumi’s voice creaks. Leo’s sure he notices because anything less than absolutely and completely put together isn’t good enough for Izumi Sena, but he brings Izumi’s fingers up to his mouth instead, idly pressing them against his lips. 

“Because you want me to.” He can hear Izumi’s sharp inhale, and his fingers are crushed tight in Izumi’s grip (always deceptively strong, always working to be stronger, because parts of Izumi aren’t allowed to be  _ weak _ ). “So I’m not going to let you beat yourself up over it.” 

“Leo-kun--”

Is he supposed to be more delicate about it? The way Izumi’s breath hitches sounds upset. He sounds upset. He sounds like he’s ready to break open, and Leo is still here, just letting himself be held. 

If Izumi needs a rock, he’s not the steadiest and he’s not the prettiest, but he’ll do in a pinch, he’s sure. 

“Watching you hate yourself doesn’t make me happy, you know,” Leo says. When he opens his eyes, he can make out the faint outlines of Izumi’s robe hanging next to his closet and the picture frame on his dresser that Arashi gave him of the both of them, smiling and laughing together, and the curtains Izumi helped pick out once he moved in. Little signs of their life together, all building in tiny ways that Leo wouldn’t know how to explain, but that he can recognize all the same. 

These are his, just like Izumi is his. 

“I’m not,” Izumi’s voice is rough and thick, and really, Leo might be terrible if he makes him cry like this. 

“You are, but I still love you, even when you’re lying,” Leo says as he closes his eyes again. 

He’s thought about it before, of course. Imagined what it would’ve been like if Izumi hadn’t cut their bond early and they’d met. Maybe as teens. Maybe in college. Maybe older. (Maybe never.) Maybe Izumi would’ve been different, with the person he always pines after when he thinks Leo isn’t looking, and Leo would’ve had no choice. Or maybe they would’ve tried anyways, and fallen apart with all the ways they wouldn’t have fit together between Izumi’s sharp, sharp tongue that wouldn’t have been mellowed by Ritsu and Arashi and Leo’s odd, sharp angles that he wouldn’t have learned to file down without Eichi. 

When he closes his eyes, he can imagine it all, what his world might’ve looked like without this. 

“I took away your time,” Izumi says, and Leo lets out a noise, too loud in the quiet of their conversation in their bedroom like this, but honestly--

He needs this. He needs to see Izumi and hold his face in his hands and make him look too for once. 

(For someone who likes to be seen, he does so hate to look sometimes. Or maybe he just doesn’t always know where.) 

(Maybe he tried once, and it scared him, but Leo doesn’t know how to really fix that.) 

“I don’t want to trade what we have now,” Leo says. In the darkness like this, he can’t see how blue Izumi’s eyes are (the bluest, even more than Eichi’s), which is really a shame. He can fill it in from memory, but it’s not the same. “Because this is what I want.” 

“We could’ve had more of this,” Izumi says, and Leo shakes his head. 

“You don’t know that. I don’t know that! None of us know what would’ve happened.” Izumi really is so beautiful like this. Leo can’t help when he leans in to kiss him, soft and sweet. “What we have is this. What I want to protect is this. The past already happened! We can’t undo any of it or change it, and it’s already made you you, and it’s made me me. So we should just go with what we’ve got now, right? If you’re sad about what we lost, then I’m going to make you happy about what we’ve got now instead! I’ll just have to make you smile every day, and--” 

“Okay.” 

“And--wait, okay?” Leo blinks up at Izumi. “Really okay?” 

“Not...super okay,” Izumi says a little slowly and a little cautiously and just a little scared, “but I believe you, okay?” 

“I’m going to make you happy. Just the way we are now.” When Leo kisses Izumi’s shoulder, it’s with a promise. “I won’t make you miss whatever you think we almost had before. You’re mine now. And tomorrow too. So. That’s what I care about.” 

“I’m sorry, y--” 

“No sorries.” 

“I’m trying to tell you you’re right,” Izumi says. Grumpy as always. The Izumi Leo knows and loves. (He knows and loves  _ all _ Izumis though, but that’s perhaps not the point.) “And I’ll do better.” 

“Yeah, so just don’t be sad about what happened before and kiss me now, okay?” Leo grins, and when Izumi finally kisses him good night, it’s with all his warmth and a hand over his heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS!!! the end!!!! of izlo week!!!! starting tomorrow for the mirror week, you may still see more of me if i can find some extra brain cells LOL 
> 
> there were more than a few extra things i wrote that just didn't fit within the scope of what i wanted to do here, so you may see those show up later :3c 
> 
> as always, if you ever want to shout about izlo (or any other pairings in this fic fkldsahf;a) or more about this verse (like a diagram???), you can find me on twitter! thank you so much for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow my writing twitter [@satiIIquinart](https://twitter.com/satiIIquinart) for updates!


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